How To Motivate And Get Better Results – Satire
How to motivate and get better results – Satire
From my point of view – Motivational Bull Dust Will Not Get Better Results
But what do I know?
Motivational Bull Dust works every time – Ha Ha Ha
Time to get on the Soap Box for the 10 minute tirade.
I work in Engineering and Manufacturing – have done for years – we design, make, install, fix, improve and do a flipping (work it out for yourself ) good job, even if I do say so myself.
Every now and again It comes around and it’s the now – “Now” . Some over paid bright spark in Head Office decides that we need to spend mega bucks on a flash motivational speaker/presentation type rev up.
A complete waste of time, energy and hard earned cash. Smart suits, power dressing, slick presentations and all of the bull dust buzz words, tricks and anecdotes. I really don’t have time for this sort of garbage – I’ve got work to do.
In The Real World
These guys have never done a “real” days work in their lives, wouldn’t know the meaning of the word stress and they want to teach ME about motivation. I could go on and on and on…….But enough is enough.
Let me tell you this –
When the main line is down – production has stopped and it’s a critical rush order, I’m the guy who has to come up with answers.
I know the problem – I’ve been telling management for a long time – But they have continued to ignore me and run the line.
But now it’s broken down again – when we are all under pressure and I can’t take it offline to fix it – So It’s got to be another patch up job to get it through to the next scheduled outage (whenever that might be). The Production Manager’s pacing up and down with a sour look on his face, continually cursing under his breath and continually asking “When will it be back on line, cos we’ve got orders to fill”, between hard stares at his watch.
The Engineering Director is watching every move plus giving me stupid suggestions and the tradesmen don’t really want to be there because it’s past their finishing time and they know the ongoing issues which have not been fixed. And the operators are stood watching and continually saying – “we kept telling management there’s a problem with this line and it needs fixing”
Now That’s What I Call Motivation !!!
Also……
And another thing before I finish………
A huge percentage of goods being designed and manufactured worldwide are coming out of the new economies
such as China, India, Japan, South East Asia, South America etc.etc. and we are struggling to get work into our factories.
Let me ask you a question – Do those guys over there get continually bombarded with Motivational Speakers and Paraphernalia.
I doubt it very much. I would guess that they just get on with the job.
If you think that you need any of this Motivational stuff, go down to the bargain basement section of your local bookstore
or the local car boot sale – there will be plenty of books claiming to have all of the answers to making a million dollars
through Motivation – Take your pick
I’m off the soapbox now – I need to go and do some real work, Like working out how to fix that machine
Or my ass will be nailed to the wall. That’s my Motivation.
Not Only – But Also …..
When there is a need to take a deep breath and take a break
- Looking for “A Better Way” – Go to – Engineering the 3R Way for an overview of the 3R Philosophy Review – Refresh – Reset and link to the full list of topics
- Then Take A Break – With the List Of Pages – Engineering Nostalgia for pages of Old Engineer Memories from Engineering practice in the 1960’s/70’s/80’s – with a bit of armed forces and medieval trivia thrown in
- Check out more Engineering Odd Bits for odd subject matter – including humor and comment
- Challenge yourself and your colleagues with an Engineering Quiz