How to describe a Engineer?
How to describe a Engineer?
REMEMBER – WHEN THE GOING GETS TOUGH
THE TOUGH CUDDLE THEIR TEDDY
THEY SAY THAT IT’S TOUGH AT THE TOP – BUT ITS PRETTY TOUGH AT THE BOTTOM AS WELL
I SHOULD KNOW – YOU DON’T GET ANY CLOSER TO THE BOTTOM THAN ME
WHEN YOU ARE IN A HOLE – AND YOU REALISE THAT YOU ARE IN A HOLE
STOP DIGGING !
A FRIEND IN NEED
IS A PAIN IN THE ASS
MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKERS SAY THAT THERE IS NO SUBSTITUTE FORT HARD WORK
BUT I SAY – IS IT SMART WORK ?
1. When you can vividly remember your love affair with “Beam Analysis by Moment Integration”.
2. When you can remember the room of clerks with flying fingers tapping away on the “adding machines with handles”.
3. When you can remember your first encounter with the Union rep. You were keen, eager and enthusiastic on your first project. The Union rep was the sour faced old guy who had been around forever and seen it all – including plenty of young engineers just like you and he saw it as his job to “put you in your place” – so that you knew who really ran the job. It was a test of wills, which got the heart pumping. But when you stood your ground – you knew that you had passed your first real test.
4. When you can remember that your first thought train for the design of control and feedback of machinery was by levers and cables.
5. When you can remember Pneumatic Logic being the height of machine control and intelligence – way before plc’s took over.
6. When you can remember your first Transistor radio.
7. When you can remember the only Robots you ever saw were in the science fiction comic books.
8. When you can remember automobiles without synchromesh gear boxes and needing to master the art of double de clutching.
9. When you can remember all of your key engineering data being on slide charts and you always kept your favourite one in your top pocket.
It was a hot dry dusty day in a small town, way out in the middle of nowhere. An old tramp was shuffling along the street, head bent and old tired eyes squinting through slits of eyelids. Scanning the pavement for old cigarette butts, coins or anything which could be of value to him
Then out of the corner of his eye, glinting in the sun he caught sight of a Rolls Royce. He lifted his head and looked in admiration. “What an absolutely magnificent motor vehicle” he sighed under his breath as he stood back and became transfixed. He remembered all of the stories he had heard of Rolls Royce and their legendary luxury and engineering excellence.
It looked very new, it was highly polished and it shone. As he stood there admiring the vehicle, intoxicated by the sight, he saw a lump of mud near the front wheel arch.
He thought to himself “a Rolls Royce, the most magnificent, beautiful vehicle in the world, I can’t walk past it, I must clean off that mud”. He pulled a piece of rag out of his pocket (which normally passed for a handkerchief) and he bent over at the side of the vehicle. Carefully he removed the mud and was just about to polish the area back to its original glory when the owner of the Rolls Royce stepped out of a shop and saw the tramp.
He yelled for the man to get away and ran over to him.
The tramp stepped back and lowered his head. He apologized profusely, “I’m terribly sorry” said the tramp. “I didn’t mean any harm”. He explained how he was admiring the Rolls Royce, be best motor vehicle in the world and saw the mud and just couldn’t walk past without cleaning it off.
He kept muttering “Rolls Royce, the most magnificent motor vehicle in the world”
The owner was full of regret for misjudging the situation and he in turn apologized to the tramp for shouting at him.
He said “you’re obviously down on your luck at the moment, let me see if I can give you a little something to help you on your way”. He put his hand in his pocket and pulled out a handful of loose change.
Amongst the handful of loose change were a couple of golf T’s.
The tramp had never played golf and had never seen golf T’s before. He looked at the open hand and pointed at the T’s. “What are those” he asked.
The man replied “Well, they are to rest your balls on when you drive off”
The tramp sighed deeply and slowly shook his head in wonderment
“Well I’ll be stuffed” he said “Those Rolls Royce people think of everything don’t they”
There are three very important learning’s in this story
1 – Don’t jump to conclusions, wait until you know all of the facts
2 – Don’t assume – what is very obvious to you, may not be so obvious to others
3 – Don’t underestimate the power of perception
I admit it – I like to ride a bicycle. I think that it’s good exercise and I like to get out into the fresh air. Let me say at this point that I don’t ride on roads with high traffic, as I think that it’s too dangerous. My riding is on dedicated cycleways and paths and its all about “smell the roses” along the way. A nice steady ride. None of the “head down tail up” stuff you see from the hard riding dedicated cyclists.
I recently bought a new bike and this has caused me to ask a few questions and ponder “the meaning of life”.
My old bike was bought back in about 2005 and over the years there have been many parts replaced due to to wear and tear and the occasional spill.
But – just like soft brakes on an automobile can creep up on you, many things had started to creep up on my bike without me paying much attention to them.
Let me also say that I’m not big on bike maintenance – I know that I should be – but I always seem to have too many other, more important things to do – So I adopt the “If it ain’t broke – Don’t try and fix it” approach.
I think that I did clean it once over the 12 years or so – but normally relied on the next shower of rain that I got caught in to wash it down.
After all – Its only a bike and with fairly simple mechanical components – I always gave the chain and sprockets a good dose of lubricant – what could possibly go wrong.
I would have my ride and put the bike in the shed until the next ride. All Good
I won’t bore you with all of the details, but when I finally did give it the attention it needed I was looking at replacing wheel bearings, the sprocket assembly, the chain, various wheel spokes and there was a split in the wheel rim, a buckled wheel etc etc.
Obviously just not worth spending the money to fix it when compared with the cost of a new, similar bike.
So I bought a new bike.
Now – This is where the conundrum starts
With my old bike I was riding about 60 km (38miles) and after the ride there was a fair degree of aching in the legs and I generally would feel fairly whacked. This would carry over into the next day and it was only on the third day that I was back to normal.
Now with my new bike I am riding the same distance, but with none of the aching and feeling whacked afterwards. So – obviously the old bike was in pretty poor shape and fairly inefficient – to say the least.
But I’m not getting the “workout” that I was getting before !!!
• I could try and ride faster and with more intensity – but I ride on a shared path and there is always a steady stream of pedestrians (including children and dogs) and at 67 years of age I really don’t know that I’m capable of pushing the speed.
• I could ride further – i.e. a longer ride, but do I want to commit to more time in the saddle ?
• I could look at making the bike less efficient with maybe a slight steady brake on the wheel – but this is a bit radical and probably an impractical/stupid idea!
• I could try and get in more, maybe shorter rides – but this would not make up for intensity.
I know that some people will say – buy an exercise bike or go to the gym and adjust the resistance but:-
1 – I have tried these exercise bikes and I don’t like them – I like to get out in the fresh air and see things.
2 – I’m lazy – if I’m riding a machine and get tired I will find an excuse to stop and get off – If I’m 30 km from home and get tired theres no couch nearby, it’s grit your teeth and keep going.
Mmmmmm – So it’s back to the Drawing Board
Then again ………
Maybe having an easier ride isn’t such a bad thing after all !!
A Breakdown in Communication ?
Sean – the Site Manager (of the web page that is) tells me that people are time poor and that I need to make the items short, sharp and snappy
So here goes:-
There is a large construction site
Here’s your weekly dose of engineering humour:
Question: Is there humor in engineering
Answer: Errr No
Man walks into a bar
Ouch! – it was an iron bar
Health & Safety
Glass half full